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Bloodhound Gang - I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics
[ar:Bloodhound Gang]
[ti:I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks]
[al:One Fierce Beer Coaster]
[by:SubJunk]

[00:01.26]If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
[00:07.51]My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
[00:13.51]Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
[00:19.45]I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
[00:22.70]Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
[00:25.70]I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

[00:29.00][01:26.04][02:44.70]Dig guys that are
[00:31.45][01:28.68][02:47.34][02:53.29][02:59.39]Queer guys that don't dig
[00:34.43][01:31.87][03:02.23]Chicks that don't dig guys like me
[00:37.79][01:35.12][03:05.68][03:17.61]See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

[00:40.89]But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
[00:46.28]Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
[00:52.46]Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
[00:55.87]But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
[00:59.28]Scoring with a super model would be easy
[01:04.20]Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with 'super dumb'
[01:10.14]Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
[01:16.95]That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
[01:20.25]No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
[01:23.00][01:56.51][02:41.81]I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

[01:38.07]Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
[01:43.51]The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
[01:49.86]See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
[01:53.42]No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen

[02:22.87]Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
[02:28.96]Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talkth like thith
[02:35.40]And wear my mother's lingerie, learn the songs of Broadway
[02:38.45]And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet

[02:50.25][02:56.28]Chicks dig guys that are
[03:10.76]And I don't shave my heiny
[03:14.36]Don't shave my heiny