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Bloodhound Gang, The - I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics
[ar:Bloodhound Gang, The]
[ti:I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks]

[00:00.00]Artist: Bloodhound Gang, The

[00:01.41]Album: One Fierce Beer Coaster

[00:01.76]Title: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

[00:02.31]If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter

[00:07.52]My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class

[00:13.68]Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass

[00:19.54]I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too

[00:22.94]Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?

[00:25.85]I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

[00:29.36][01:26.54][02:44.81][02:50.33][02:56.43]Chicks dig guys that are

[00:31.45][01:28.80][02:47.36][02:53.38][02:59.34]Queer guys that don't dig

[00:34.61][01:31.91][03:02.46]Chicks that don't dig guys like me

[00:37.92][01:35.16][03:05.81][03:17.88]See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

[00:41.02]But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be

[00:46.78]Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony

[00:52.84]Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity

[00:55.99]But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry

[00:58.94]Scoring with a super model would be easy

[01:04.56]Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with 'super dumb'

[01:10.47]Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become

[01:16.63]That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair

[01:20.39]No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear

[01:23.24][01:56.34][02:41.76]I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

[01:38.66]Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes

[01:43.92]The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean

[01:50.03]See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline

[01:53.34]No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen

[02:23.23]Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis

[02:29.19]Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this

[02:35.10]And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway

[02:38.55]And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet

[03:10.82]And I don't shave my heiny

[03:14.57]Don't shave my heiny